The Great Needles.

Between the deadlines i lie still.
All that begins shall end one day.
Hope is lost in this page.
It might dawn on yet another. I know not.
Certainly not in this dark night.

Sea of fizzing stars of sephia and gold.
Drown me in thy embrace, take me away
from this horrendous thirsty night.
From this feeling of folly growing everyday.

For most grow wiser through each passing day.
Methinks that i must have been excluded from
that most exclusive list of geniuses.

For the most specular of us may see our mistakes,
But we may never remedy our foolery. The days
grow old, the night grows young. Nay. Not the night
of partying and carousing, but the night of our youths.
But even that youth in time must grow old and must die.

But what of a those who are wont to divert their desire to grow up,
Of those who are forever youth? would they perhaps
sustain the rush and tides of the sting and prick of the
thousand million trillion needles, all in synchronisation,
all together, all leveled, against their slaves, who run

In wild abandon, to seek that spark, to set ablaze something that all
shall see for miles around. They hate the children.
Something they cannot embrace. For all their sophistry,
skill and struggle. They cannot. For those that have slavern before
The Great Needles flee too fast to pause in wonder.
And seek that which was anything other than was the natural order.

So lies all huddled the children. Hated by the driven slaves of order.
Alone but for one anothers' befuddled visions and illusions, some of truth,
some of destiny and of fufuilment, others of mere light and spells.
Echoes keep them company, other then each other they have.
Echoes of what the slaves intone foolishness.

Went shooting yesterday!!! WEEE

Reclining Beauty.



Spikes.



Meow.



Freedom.



Heaven anyone?



unknown


Damn blogger cropped the pictures for me. hmmmm... but oh well. not bad either.
In its entirety >>> http://www.flickr.com/photos/pnguin/

Depressing Ideation

I didn't go to school today. The reason being: ( your gonna love this one) i mugged hard last night so i could clear up the week before me, and do other things that I had at the top of the list" things i much rather do with my time". Such as write out that killer scriot that i haven't exactly figured the ending out. Although the teachers say that if you can't find a good ending... its cos you sort of don't have a good clear enough beginning.
But I'm digressing.
Lets go back to thoughts in mind.In the nice head clearing feels-like-100-degrees-shower that managed to clear my mind every now and then.

i couldn;t wake up on time, so i'm technically still kicking myself about how i managed to think that class was at 10. (So i woke up at nine and swore for a bit. And messaged Bee who didn't reply back. Oh well but she's in class.).i realised that there were alot of things that i could do with the time i bought today.I wondered on how could i catch up for today's misses in evaluation for non linear editing and what would i miss in audio. Its like God, this isn't the good start i plannned at all, i'm already late so many times.. and i'm using a MC in the second week. Bugger.

then something came to me. Because i was monologing to myself in the shower, and that little spark that haven't ... well sparked for weeks came to me. And i thought hey why don't i make a film about myself. A bit like Being John Malkovich. ( didn't watch that film. But hey.. there you go for the concept) But then i kicked myself again. who wanted to watch another internal film again?( and the worse thing about someone they didn't know about at all?)
I mean okay fine. My national Cinema/ film style that i could see....
Well it mostly featured the internal of the character more than that of the external. Like There;s a REASON why this old man smokes. or why this Lady ONLY wears Pink belts. At least that what i can see of it , myself.


I hate cliches with a passion.
Pang says I'm being too Avant-Garde. Or rather being so was not a really that good a thing, like gotta use the cliches sometimes. But then like the only place i think cliches work is most likely in short films and in comedy.
In shorts because you don't really have that MUCH time to establish a character. But in comedy.... its a motif that everyone's cued in to laugh.And i hate going about doing stuff that just looks like what everyone else is doing.

I'm Digressing again.
Back to the Internal monologue film thing.

I thought about it, and films i never watched like becoming Royston came to mind. Then i thought about how to actually get a job in the future. Then it occurred to me. the theme of plagarism. Project Plagarism. The thing about Project plagarism was that we utitlise the name of say a extremely well known movie. And we plagarise the movie in ways that they can't catch us. ( of course this would require extreme high familiarity in the area of MEDIA LAW)Think about it. You plagarise a director's work. Won't he/she be agitated enough to at least have a look at it? And say if its good enough a reproduction... Won't he be at least interested to meet the very person who managed to recreate what he just managed to do? and join forces with those who seem to at least to think alike? Cool. I like my idea.

Now i gotta go get that presentation about Ernst Lubitsch and that Worlds Apart script down pat for tomorrow. Sigh. i got an MC to do homework. I love my life. But yay i feel so much more better now. (Although i havent solved my sleeping habit issues. or gotten that MC) And i found Pat's Red brolly cover. yay me.
"time to work" time.

The world scares me.
I'm not half as frightened of the phantoms that people see.
I'm not afraid of the drugs and bombs and natural disasters.
I fear not the great heights, nor moths that fly in your face,
or diseases that could kill me this next very minute.
At least not as much as I fear you.
The very people that surround me.
A sea of faces all mocking and angry,
and sad and false-led.
A forest of hands all grabbing with greed,
all consuming with hunger, all stabbing with violence.
A volley of mouths, ever closing with the awful truths,
fabrications that cause the heart ceaseless unrest,
biting of swearwords and lies.

This Song is Soooo sweet la!
OMG am i going back to my Pop Song days?

Wrote a poem today. Angsty emo and what not. I really don't care if you think its oh so cliche or following the crowd, its just me and the words running here.
A bit on the romance side i guess. But oh well when inspiration extends a hand, i cannot resist but grasp. I admit it isnt very good according to poemy rules.

WANNABE

I wanna be an Angel, cos I
Wanna be there for you always.
But I'm only human. The world spins
Around me, tripping and twisting me
with responsibities, needs desires
aplenty. I'm not that naive.

Still I wanna be there for you,
life technicolor brightening in the
Supernova of your smile. But there
are always things bigger than me
and you. Choices made,
consequences eventual.

I wanna pick up the phone and hear
nothing, but your voice. It beats any
song they can ever play on the radio.
I never smile when I listen to the radio.

I wanna say that i wanna protect you,
Hold you close. A flower that should never wilt,
surrounded by the glass of fragility
But the door closes and the dream denied.
Guess i should have stolen the darn key before it was shut.

So all I can do now is be there always.
Loving you like an angel should, across this dark
abyss which separates and abides the unspoken rules.
Where a marble clock runs eternal.

The reason i dont exactly watch TV

I was watching TV on the bus today. and what i was watching was the just for variety, then just for laughs. The one thing common in both shows? Well they're IMPORTS( yeah i know thats like such an earthsh-sh-shaking fact.)
But like seriously. Why are we importing stuff like that when we can get it done locally? i mean like really.

There used to be shows like Gotcha! ( I think that was local, if it aint. it only adds to my case.) but even that was gone along with time!
So what is going on>? are singaporeans just taking life too seriously. I mean okay, envision this.

Play a prank on an uncle or Auntie.. or better still a secondary or poly ah beng.
What is the first reaction? the first choices of vocabulary? I mean like what can you see them doing when they see the poor bugger coming out to tell them. Hey yo. You been the butt of joke. On TV somemore! power right?

And okay talent.
Yeah well the talent-trend-thing is on now. actually more of the dregs of it in a way. ( the hype of it is slowly dying off, people are actually slowly becoming aware that winning a contest doesn't really get you that much more anymore.) I mean like really. IF the telly does show a talent showcase, why does it always come with a subconscious silent "youth-only" tag? i mean like why not showcase bands that aren't that teenish. After all, don't these people deserve the limelight alot more for the persistance and hardwork through their teen years and right into wherever they are right now? Aren't these guys the real talents? instead of the flukes that just made it cos of what the audience just happened to like today? I mean like c'mon. Not just the music scene. the drama scene, the wayang scenes, the visual arts scenes, anything else and the media scene( which has been done a little overboard already anyway).

Singapore has talents, un-nurtured talents that are just all too ready to show off before actually making sure that they got their act together. I mean yeah, there definitely are some who really really put in the work, gone through hell and high water. But seriously, How many have the conviction to pull through? How many are just doing it in the name of trend( being BLODDY SODDING ShEEP!)?

So yeah. Show us something better than Switchin kitchens or Stylin gypsies.
Or BAD short films( that i simply can't appreciate cos of the volume being like shit. But then some of them are bad to the point that i won't even think twice about doing. Like is THAT even a short film?)


And when you say talent, forget the damn youth tag.